Amy's Online Dating Tips

Disclaimer: This list is essentially useless for everyone besides the small group of men interested in getting to know me, because it has nothing to do with data collection or scientific analysis or anything universally useful. Just my thoughts on the online dating universe.

1. You’re great just the way you are. Use a recent photo, for both our sakes.

2. There are maybe 2-3 people who should know how much money you make. And until we’re engaged, I’m not one of them. 

3. If you’re going to try to start something up with someone, ignore them for 6 months, then try to start something up again like the last time never happened, at least use a different pick up line.

4. The only acceptable shirt-less pictures are those taken while swimming – not selfies in the bathroom mirror.

5. While I understand the desire to keep your options open, if you put that you are “LDS” and a “Social Drinker,” I feel like you’re trying to cast a net that’s a bit too wide.

6. If we’ve emailed back and forth more than 4 times, it’s safe to assume that we both find each other reasonably attractive and can carry on a virtual conversation. Just ask to meet me. I can only be so charming via email – the full extent of my awesome-ness is only revealed in person.

7. Biggest pet peeve – not using correct punctuation, grammar and capitalization in your profile or correspondence. Using the “shift” key doesn’t take THAT much more effort.

8. Remember that although I can see every time you look at my profile, looking at my profile on a daily basis but never actually contacting me doesn’t count as reaching out to me. 

9. Don’t ever include the word “destiny” in your first interaction with someone.

10. Scott Adams said, “Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.” So keep it up – one day it will pay off for both of us.