My family might laugh to hear me say it, but I was painfully shy and socially awkward for years. I had a few close friends from church, and I was always brave at raising my hand to give my opinion or answer a question in classroom settings, but when it came to making friends, I just wasn't good at it. I have a very distinct memory of asking a few kids if I could play unicorns with them at recess, and having them say no...probably the social low point of my life.
I certainly don't blame the kids around me - I was a chubby, precocious teacher's pet. I reveled in being right and being smart and I took life way too seriously (a trait that has stuck with me into adulthood). For years, I was happiest grabbing a book and sitting outside my teachers' doors until they would let me back into the sanctuary of the classroom.
Then came my 6th grade play. I hadn't even auditioned for my 5th grade play - auditioning for something would require putting myself out there and taking a non academic risk, which just seemed ridiculous. But watching that play from the sidelines had dazzled me. I loved the music, the lights, the staging, the glamour. I loved it enough to take a risk and audition for the 6th grade production of Oliver. During my audition, I remember my teachers looking at each other and smiling, and when I finished, one of them said, "Well, I guess it runs in the family." (My older sister had been a lead in the 6th grade production the year before.) And they gave me the lead female role of Nancy.
I'm a decent singer, but I'm not amazing. I can sort of act, but it's best to keep me in the sidelines. I'm a passable dancer, but you'd never put me on the front row. I could tell you about the years of auditioning for every school play, community theater and choir opportunity I could find. I could tell you how there is no place I feel happier than when I'm on stage - I come alive. I glow. I love every second of it. But that's really not the point.
The point is that I had a group of teachers who believed in me. They saw potential in a socially awkward girl who felt like she didn't fit in anywhere and gave her a chance. And in doing that, they unlocked an understanding that taking risks can lead to great things. I trace my love of public speaking, singing, laughing loudly and my tendency to talk too much back to that moment in my childhood.
I haven't made 90% of the shows that I've auditioned for, but I keep auditioning. I've gone through periods where I've had to apply for hundreds of jobs just to get an interview, but I keep applying. I had my heart broken more times that I can keep track of, but I knew that it was worth it to keep putting it out there. In short, I didn't make it on Broadway, but I found my voice.
"Tell me, and I forget.
Teach me, and I remember.
Involve me, and I learn."
A shout out to all the teachers out there trying to make a difference in the lives of your students. You really do.
