Motherhood . . . An Act of Infinite Optimism

One of my sisters was determined to get in with the cool kids at school. She begged my mother, an extremely talented seamstress, to make a homemade version of the type of outfit the cool kids wore. On her first day wearing her new clothes, she strode up to where they were playing basketball and asked in a loud voice if she could play with them. They ignored her. She asked again with similar results. Finally, she shouted as loud as she could, "Can I play with you???" The boy with the basketball stopped dribbling, turned around and said, "No." That afternoon, she recounted the experience to my mother, fully expecting to be smothered with sympathy and statements akin to, "Oh, what evil children they are!" Instead, the response was, "Oh honey - now you know what that feels like. I hope you never treat anyone that way."

Girl's Camp - a testament of the love of both my parents.

Such was my mother. An educator by profession, an educator always. She took every opportunity to teach her children and those around her about how to love and treat each other better. She was always so focused on making other people happy. In my naive teenage mind, it never occurred to me that she wouldn't beat cancer. It would be an inconvenience, of course, but she was mom. Nothing could get her down.

Shelly Kay Smith Sawaya - she had the most gorgeous handwriting and way of signing her name. I used to love to watch her sign her name on checks at the grocery store, certain that my signature would automatically look as amazing as hers when I got older. (For the record, that didn't happen. Legibility is usually my one and only goal.) She had a laugh that would fill the whole room, but she was always more interested in listening to what other people had to say rather than speaking herself. The easiest way to find her was to start at the phone base and follow the cord around the house, because she was the best listener and everyone would call to talk to mom. We had a phone cord longer than any phone cord I've ever seen - she could get to almost any spot on the first level of the house.

After she passed away, my sister made each of us signs with "Things Mom Used to Say." "If it doesn't move, it doesn't matter." "What I like best is you." "You're a good man, Charlie Brown." "Will this matter in 50 years?" Mom was focused on choices. She believed that we had our own destiny in our hands, and that we chose that destiny every day in the way we lived and the way we treat people. "Living the gospel is an exercise of will." She talked about love and how we had to actively find ways to love and serve the people around us. "It takes effort on our part to properly love . . . our families."

I wish I knew her better as a person. My memories of her have the fog of innocent childhood and the curtain of teenage rebellion around them. I learn more about her through the memories of my siblings, my father, her friends, and the 60 page spiritual journey she wrote before she passed away. Her faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ amazes me. She knows. One cannot read her words and doubt that she knows the truth of what she is saying. Perhaps the "mom quote" that has shaped my life is the most is this: "If when I die I discover that Joseph Smith is a hoax and that none of this is true, it will not matter. I would still live my life exactly as I have. Living the gospel of Jesus Christ is the only way to have happiness in this life."

"We do not always know where our blessings may come from." One of the greatest blessings of my life is having the example of this righteous, beautiful, deeply strong woman to guide me through life's paths. Love you mom. Happy Mother's Day.

Love this lady. Forever.