If You Can't Say Something Nice, Don't Say Nothing At All

My mother was one of the kindest people I’ve ever known. One day my oldest sister came home and told her how the kids at school had teased her and said mean things. She expected my mom to tell her how sorry she was, and talk about how mean and wicked those children had been. Instead, my mom responded, “Oh sweetie, now you know what that feels like. I hope you never treat anyone that way.”

I have a general rule in my life that I’m not allowed to read the comments on any article or blog post online, because inevitably I end up feeling ill at how angry and mean people can be. While I tell myself over and over again NOT to click on things, I sometimes don’t listen to my inner warnings and end up regretting it. A popular singer recently released a music video that desecrated several things that I consider sacred. I should not have read the interview he gave after it came out, because it made me angry, and then incredibly sad. Sad mostly because I felt his logic was flawed: he said he did it to try and protest some things he doesn’t agree with, but history has shown over and over again that hatred never solves anything. It never brings about change. As Martin Luther King Jr. said, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." While I don’t deny his right to disagree, to be angry, and to make his opinion known, hatred only breeds more hatred.

I have an overly simplistic view on life, but I believe that aside from making the best choices I possibly can in my own life, the only thing I have to do is love people. We don’t make it easy. We are difficult creatures. (To the person who was going 60 mph and then sped up to 95 when we finally made it to a passing lane . . . grr.) However, it is always worth it! We will never regret being too kind. Henry James said, “Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.”

The fact of the matter is, we will never have the full story on someone’s life, and therefore we should never pass judgment on the way they are acting. It is so much easier to respond with anger, with irritation, with sarcasm. It takes an incredible amount of discipline and character to respond with kindness, but I believe so many of the problems we are currently facing as a society would be solved if we would do as JM Barrie counseled, and, “Always be a little kinder than necessary.”