Gratitude: Rekindled by a Spark

Today would have been my mother’s 71^st birthday. It’s been almost 13 years and I’m amazed at how I seem to miss her more as time goes on. This last week was particularly hard, due mostly to my long hours at work, short hours of sleep, high levels of stress and some difficult questions weighing on my mind. She was so smart and kind and full of wisdom; sometimes I feel certain that if I could talk to her, she would have the perfect answer to fix everything.

I was lucky enough to date a great guy who sings in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir this summer – it didn’t work out, but I got in the habit of going to Music and the Spoken Word every Sunday. When we broke up, I didn’t go because it just seemed best to stay away. However, on Sunday morning I felt really strongly that I should get up and go. I asked a couple of friends to come along, but no one was free so I went by myself. It was their Thanksgiving special - the music was beautiful, but I was distracted and caught up in memories and my own thoughts.

And then, they started singing their last song – “Come Thou Fount.” Instantly, tears filled my eyes. That was the song I sang at my mother’s funeral. That song represents everything my mother stood for, and the plea that I so frequently bring to my Heavenly Father in prayer. It was like a huge hug from my mom, and a reminder that He is so aware of me.

(As a side note, the guy sitting in front of me happened to turn around and see me crying – he was very much interested in engaging me in conversation about my distress, so I was glad they were recording and we couldn’t talk! It was probably pretty entertaining to watch.)

I don’t pretend to believe that “Come Thou Font” was chosen for that broadcast JUST because I was having a rough week and needed a little TLC. I know that those programs are planned out in advance and a lot of planning and coordination goes into them. However, I believe that God knows what we need and gives us guidance to put us in the right place at the right time to get what we need. He is constantly trying to answer our prayers – we just have to be willing to trust Him and do as He asks.

Life is so imperfect. There are ups and downs, highs and lows. Only finding happiness in the high moments is no way to live. We must choose to feel gratitude, not just for ‘things’ but feeling gratitude in all circumstances. “This type of gratitude transcends whatever is happening around us. It surpasses disappointment, discouragement, and despair. It blooms just as beautifully in the icy landscape of winter as it does in the pleasant warmth of summer.” I need to work on just feeling gratitude, not necessarily towards certain things, but in general. However, I do want to express gratitude for a few things.

He taught me everything good I know.

My amazing family, who give me a straight path to follow to happiness. My nieces and nephews, who bring me so much joy and teach me to be better. My dad, the voice in my head telling me that I can accomplish anything I want to. My friends, who tolerate my insanity with patience and humor. Music, for reminding me to feel something significant every day. My job, and of course the co-workers that come along with it for making getting up in the morning easier. My country. My freedom. Mountains. Spreadsheets. Diet Coke.

And of course, for the gospel of Jesus Christ, for shaping every moment of my life, giving meaning to my trials and struggles, and bringing me the hope and strength to find joy in the journey of life. Happy Holidays, dear ones.

For the beauty of the earth.