Frame the Rainbow

Mae West once said, “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” But what does it mean to live right? Our lives here on earth are so short, so small in comparison with the eternal verities. I think all of us long to make a lasting impact on the world; to have our names lauded and praised through the generations as someone who made everyone’s lives better and did something important. I believe most causes, and people for that matter, start out that way, whatever they become as time goes by. But in reality, the odds that I will do something that will change the course of history are miniscule at best. I don’t have any talents that will propel me into the limelight of fame. I don’t have political aspirations. And while I tend to think my spreadsheets are revolutionary, my profession is unlikely to lead me to a universe-altering discovery.

With that cold reality staring us in the face, one is left to ponder the question yet again: What does it mean to live right? Life is so imperfect – there are days filled with deadlines, stress, illness, death, war, contention, cows in the basement, bad hair days and the reality that donuts are never a good idea. Each day is filled with trials that bog us down and hold us back from achieving our potential.

Or maybe that’s not quite the case. I once had a teacher who had a unique outlook on trials. Whenever he was telling us a story about a hard time, he would follow up the story with an enthusiastic, “What an opportunity!” I can still hear it in my head. Perhaps our trials truly are opportunities. To make us tough. To make us tender. To help us learn. To prepare us for the future. To show us what we are capable of. What a glorious possibility!

Life can be so random and beautiful and randomly beautiful. I recently read the blog of a woman who was in her last days of life – she had terminal cancer and was writing one last post to remind people what things really matter. She said, " . . . enjoy life. Take it by both hands, grab it, shake it and believe in every second of it. . . . Embrace your loved one and if they cannot embrace you back, find someone who will. Everyone deserved to love and be loved in return. Don’t settle for less. . . . Choose [your friends] wisely then treasure them with all the love you can muster. Surround yourself with beautiful things. Life has a lot of grey and sadness – look for that rainbow and frame it. There is beauty in everything, sometimes you just have to look a little harder to see it."

A few things that "frame the rainbow" in my life . . .

So maybe that's what it means to live life right - maybe it just means to appreciate the things around us, to find joy in the mundane, to rise above what our circumstances would have us feel. There’s always something to be grateful for, something to love. I’m grateful for the way I feel when I hear really good harmony. I love the way freshly painted nails look. My 4 month old niece laughed for me the other day – wow, that was an amazing sound. I’m thankful that my dear friend makes the most amazing cookies on earth and that they have oatmeal in them, so I can have them for breakfast and call it a win-win. There’s always joy in the journey, if we choose to see it.

In the words of John Green, “It’s a good life, Hazel Grace.”

Love Anyway

This is, undoubtedly, becoming a tired subject for those of you who read my blog consistently. But as someone who has spent most of her adult life getting into and out of relationships, it’s on my mind quite a bit.

It’s incredibly rare for me to like someone less the more I get to know them. I heard a quote awhile back that said, “There isn’t a person you wouldn’t love if you could read their story.” For me, this absolutely proves to be true: unless someone does something heartless that hurts me or the people around me and shows no regrets, the more I get to know someone, the more I care for and about them. It is definitely one of my gifts, to love people exactly as they are.

As has been referenced in pop culture, everyone has a “dark side” that is usually only revealed with time and experience. We all have bruises and scars inside of us that tend to impact the way we react to the world around us. They manifest themselves in insecurities, overreactions, and sometimes cause us to shut down completely. Oddly enough, I love scars – the physical and the emotional kind. They represent life and experiences and stories and relationships and are proof of what people have overcome. I love the experience of getting to know people well because their scars help me understand the battles they have fought and are currently fighting.

It is the most terrifying experience I know to show someone my scars. I’m a very open, honest person and I don’t really hold back – it’s one of my greatest strengths and my biggest flaws. I often feel like Marilyn Monroe once expressed, “I am out of control and at times hard to handle, but if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” It sometimes feels like the instant I show someone my scars, they bolt terrified in the other direction. This is definitely something I need to work on – I give too much too soon. I just don’t know where the line between vulnerability and good sense lies.

Whenever I go into an unproductive cycle of analyzing everything about me and how I interact and wishing I just didn’t care as much as I do, I always come back to the same conclusion. (Please forgive me if this seems overly analytical and digging too deep – another of my many flaws.) I’ve spent my entire life doing things so that I will be more like my Savior. My main goals have always been centered on creating habits that will bring me closer to Him, although I seem to mess up my path constantly. And He cared. He kept His scars. He was kind and cared about others and felt things deeply. So while I need to work on not being so easily offended and hurt, I’m grateful for the ability to feel things deeply. To love people fully and openly and eternally. To be vulnerable.